Beach Runs.

Since I have been home I've been running a lot. I miss running like I did in the summer.
There's just something about it. Running outside in the brisk air. Especially when you build your endurance and you can just run for miles. Its the best.
The beach has been beautiful lately. Such nice sunsets. I never really appreciated this place until I chose to leave it for Portland.

Im loving home, but Im ready to go back.

winter.

Well it is finally getting overcaste in Ventura. Which I dont really like, but i guess it gives a more wintery feel.
Buena Alumni game was wayyy more fun than I thought it was going to be. I think Im going to join the intermural water polo team at school...i miss it.
Last night jaccuzzi with court, rach, sam, bon...good to catch up with them.
Tomorrow staff holiday party for the VAC ATTACK..holler
Wednesday. Venice.
Cannot wait.

Missing portland. But loving home.




Loveeee this song. Makes me miss summer.

I like it when the sun shines

directly on my body.
I am weird.
I have made two batches of mexican wedding cookies. And they are dank.
I will make you some when you come home and wrap them prettily and put them on your front porch.
I also swam. And tanned my body slightly. But the end of three weeks, I will be black again.
Natures Grill's portabello mushroom sandwich and I were reunited today. Kyle Lansden came along. And I randomly saw Cate Russell. Small world. I love Ventura.
Especially downtown Ventura.
Tomorrow I will sleep. And clean. And workout. And see my beautiful friends.

Ps. Friday I am going to a Hanukah party at my grandmother's house. pahahaha. Love.

home.

I am now back home for the next three weeks.
Weird.
It almost feels like I havent been gone that long. Nothing's changed that much.
It has been so good to see my friends though. And talk and laugh like old times.
And to sleep in my bed.
And to not have to worry about school or anything.
Although, I have a feeling that by the end of this three weeks I'll be more than ready to go back to living on my own in Portland.

btw. Glee this week was so good. Just watched it online. LOVED.
As corny as that show is, it still gives me goosebumps every episode.

traveling.

In 10 hours i will be on a plane.

flying home

and leaving portland.

And this is all just so bitter sweet.

I have grown a deep love for my friends here. And knowing that Im not gonna see them for three weeks is hard and makes me wanna cryyy!

But at the same time I am SO beyond excited to see my friends back at home. I miss them more than they could know.

Tonight I danced a little and ate a lot. With people that I love so so much.

New things will begin soon.

contemplation.

It's weird that something that should make you feel good

Doesnt really do much for you.

Actually it kind of does the opposite.

And makes you feel bad

About yourself.

BUT, I am going home tomorrow. And I definitely feel good about that :)

happiness :)

Finally feeling good.

Just finished my Sociology final. I think I did well. Hopefully.

I still have a paper to write. Gonna bust that shit out.

Life feels good.

Good friends and food and conversation and music.

I am soakin' in up :)

Cant wait to go home to I!! And watch Lost and eat and chat and have funnn!

And of course to see Dal, Sam, Ky, Bon, and EVERYONE.

And my real true love, the ocean.

The anticipation is killing me!

Sometimes.

I get scared that there isnt enough time.

To do the things I want to do.

And be the person that I want to be.

And meet the people I want to meet.

And see the things I want to see.

And feel the things I want to feel.

I wish time could slow. Just for a little while.

I want.

To run.

and run and run and run.

It's freeing.

I also want it to be Thursday. When all my work will be over with. And I will be packing for home. And having a good time because finals will be OVER.

"Cause if you're touring my mind, you'll get lost every time."

what i have resorted to in the computer lab.

When we should be being productive and writing our damn papers. 294 words out of 1500 done = 1/5 of the way finished. In the past hour. This is no good.

5 days.

Until I go home. Lets rejoice. I am so excited to see all of my lovaaassss!!!

This week is hellacious.

Anthro final today = blehhhhasdlkaejalskdfj. Whatever. Glad its over.

Tomorrow = Study my arse off. And write an 8 page paper. Superb.

Wednesday = Sociology final. Sad that class is going to be over.

Thursday, Friday = Partayyyyyyyy

Saturday = flyyyyyy home :)

From this weekend. Korey's Christmas party. I will miss these lovely ladies when I go home :(

simply put.

sleeping to dream.

Sometimes its funny when someone that you've been thinking about just decides to show up in your life coincidentally.

I think things happen for a reason. I dont really believe in coincidences, I dont think.

And I dont like it when people are scared. Life is short. So why would you care so much about what people, that you dont even like, think about you? You shouldn't be scared of screwing things up. I believe we should do what we want, and what we feel we need to do. Without hesitation.

Things I like that I find on the internet :)

On my mind.

I've had a lot on my mind these days.

• school/finals
• friends
• home
• job
• the future
• my health
• boys

I need a vacation. Haha, which is why I am looking forward so much to going home. I really do miss it.

The song "Stream of Consciousness" by Still Time is amazing right now.

My room mate just made me mac n cheese. We are now friends :)

I was so in the zone today working out. Eliptical for 30 minutes straight. Holler.

I have peed a total of 7 times in the last hour. Something is wrong with me! I didn't even drink that much tea today! Oye.

Yesterday when watching the Civil War football game (Ducks vs. Beavers) I accidentally called a "chest bump" and chest pump.

Also, I wrote an incredibly depressing haiku for my sustainability class:

The leaves are dying

The animals are crying

People are lying

Tomorrow Korey is having a "Ho-Ho-Ho Christmas Party" and that should be just grand

Cant wait. For any of it. Love love love.

ps.(I want winter to be over because I am done being cold. Send the sunshine my way please)

study time.

I got my tea. I got my books. I got my music. I am now motivated.

End of Fall.

So it's the end of the fall term. Seriously cannot believe it. For your entertainment, here are some of the highlights....

Korey's pre-christmas christmas party in her new apartment :)

Deciding to explore the frat house. Not the brightest idea.
Exploring new territories. Best idea we've ever had. Also...the night Erica discovered Mitch.
Night of max rides, peeing behind dumpsters, good music, and pita pit.
Halloween Eve Night #1

Halloween Night #2 in Eugene. Helloooo Comfort Inn.

Australian aborigines in a penthouse in Eugene.
The night me and Korey stole the street sign.
The night of not so great decisions for all.
A.S.S. - Anti-Sorority Sorority.

Corvallis.

Fun times at Korey's
The first time we were all united down by the water front.
Me and Erica obtaining our favorite t-shirts everrr.
80's Dance.

So much fun and so many more memories and good times to come! Cant wait lovaaasss!

sister.

I miss mine. I really do. I miss laughing with you. And teasing you. And playing games and watching movies and riding bikes and chasing each other around the house and acting like fools together. Know that I love you.
"You could make the sun go down just by walkin away."

as;ldgkhaerlgjhgahhhhhhh!

Seriously. So pissed.
Ya know, why cant things just sometimes work out the way they're supposed to.
Why does everything have to be so hard and complicated and stupid.
So done.
Done
Done
Done
Done
I want to go home. and sleep in my bed. where i dont hear the sound of sirens and dumpsters in the middle of the night. and i dont get woken up 3 times a night by the fucking cat living in my dorm room.
I mean, why would that be considered a good idea to have a cat in this tiny space that you share with someone else?
I am sick
And have finals.
And no effing job.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

I miss home. Im tired.

really immune system?

Of all times that I could be getting sick. Five days before finals. Super.

I am going to be living in the computer lab for the next week. So-long social life.

Its ok though.

I am going to study.

And kick ass on my finals.

And write my long ass final paper.

And all will be well.

And then it will be winter break and I will be home in Ventura with the beach and the sun and my beautiful friends and family that I miss so so much!

no one could ever go wrong with choosing dave matthews as their studying music.

its a small crime.

here are some pics from this weekend:

damien rice is so freakin beautiful. i love him.

so i have a large project that has yet to be started. i am procrastinating. 9 crimes is where its at.

miss this song.

suchhhhh good times are recalled when listening to this.

long weekend.

This weekend was pretty grand.

Starting off Wednesday night going out with Korey. Hit up a party, sipped on some wine. Ok night.

Thursday aka. Thanksgiving - woke up and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade with Korey and her mom. Hung out all day with Korey, Korey's family and Vincent. Watched movies, sipped champagne, ate delicious food.

Friday was intense. Out with friends. Korey's life changing encounters. Excellence.

Saturday Pre-christmas party party at Korey and Cassidy's apartment. Fun. Got to see my lover hannah and meet interesting people and play beer pong and have heart to hearts with lovers.

Sunday I did homework and drank lots of coffee.

And now my week will begin tomorrow. This week and then finals. Oye. Im nervous. Its so weird that this term is already almost over. Its been amazing.

I cant wait to go home over winter break and see all my lovers back home in v-town. and eat natures grill and snapper jacks and in-n-out. and have bonfires. and sit in dairy queen and subway for hours talking with dallas. and playing sing star at sams house. and going to DWs with kyle and talking to his mother.

swimming.

I went swimming yesterday for the first time in like a month and it was wonderful. I forgot how good swimming makes me feel. And I forgot how therapeutic and calming yet energizing it is. Im gonna start swimming regularly again. I miss the smell of chlorine.

I have a lifeguard try out today. Hopefully it goes well.

I got an A on my Sociology quiz. Holler.

I bought the delux version of the Swell Season CD and I loveeee it. Live versions of songs are so beautiful. I love love Low Rising and Rain and Star Star (Live) and Fitzcarraldo (Live) its all so good. I recommend them.

5 day weekend after today. Thats what I like to hear.

laughs.

Here was this saturday night's group.

I laughed a lot this weekend. Not that it was like the most exciting weekend or anything, it was just full of good vibes.

I love.

I love new music.

I love nights like the last.

I love dancing with sterling.

I love live versions of songs.

I love izzy's drunk texts/voicemails.

I love iced green tea.

I love deep talks with Korey.

I love hugs with Grace.

I love randomness from Dallas.

I love the simplicity of water.

I love swimming.

I love the ocean.

I love the sun.

I love no shoes.

I love the love of Samantha.

I love Tricia's laugh.

I love warmth.

The end.

Oye.

Still no coffee creamer. Got my soy latte with an extra shot. holler.

I have a paper to write by 1 that is halfway done. shootmeintheface.

Why do I do this to myself? I dont know.

Stressed. Stressed. Stressed.

But its ok. I will be alright. I will write this paper and it will be badass.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen.

oh and ps. Its FRIDAY. Thank the good Lord.

Last night Grace named my power animal a kangaroo. I dont know if thats a compliment or not.

sad.sad.day.

I woke up. And realized I had no more coffee creamer.

I died.

So now Im getting ready for class fast so I can go to Starbucks and get a VENTI of something with an EXTRA SHOT OF ESPRESSO.

Because without caffeine, I will malfunction. Especially in my sustainability class. Oye.

Almost the weekend! And I cannot wait :)

new room mates.

I got a new room mate today. She seems pretty chill.

She brought a kitten named james.

we will be best friends.

sunlight.

Sometimes in Portland, when its been rainy and cold all week, and you just feel like you have a permanent dampness and your feet will never get warm, the weather decides to surprise you and the sun will decide to peek out from the clouds. And even though its only for a couple minutes, it gives me a whole new appreciation of the warmth the sun brings.

I think I have made my schedule for next term:

1. Intro to Philosophy
2. First Year Spanish
3. Psychology as a Social Science
4. Sustainability w/ Mentor session
5. Cardio Kickboxing

18 credits. damn.

Im going to Powell's today! The best book store in the whole entire world. I am a nerd.

Listen to this. So uplifting. Makes me weep.

Blustery.

So the wind decided to pick up in Portland today, and I kind of like it. There's something exciting about wind, picking things up and stirring them around, causing some chaos. I like chaos.

In sociology we had a former white supremises who was in jail for 18 years come in as a guest speaker to talk to us about prison life, and it was the best guest speaker I had ever heard. Not so much his speaking techniques, but the material that he was talking about. If you wanna know more, ask me about it. It's insane what prisoners go through and how they are forced to conform into this way of life full of hatred and spite and violence.

I think that sociology interests me a lot. Like I am considering looking into careers in it. We'll see.

Tomorrow I am going to go look at apartments with Korey. Yes. We are excited.

Also, I think I am getting sick, which is highly depressing. But I will rest and drink emergen-c and take vitamins and blow my nose.

Some photos from this weekend: We adventured some.

we used to vacation.

Lately I've been thinking. And sometimes I really do just wanna give up. Drop out. Work 40 hour weeks for a year and save up to travel.

But I know I cant.

I really do love school. Gaining knowledge. I feel that if I could afford to be in school for the next ten years I would do that. I love college and the freedom to study things that actually interest me, not things that are mandatory state standards.

I've been thinking of transferring.

But I don't think I'll do that.

Maybe move out of the dorms. But not move schools. Not yet anyways.

I just feel kind of like my life is on freeze right now...or at least in slow motion. Im figuring things out. Realizing things. Hopefully one day it will all fall into place. But otherwise it's just one day at a time.

rain. and rain. and more rain.

Yesterday Sterling and I walked in the pouring rain to go see This Is It. [the Michael Jackson movie]
And even though we were sitting in the theater soaking wet...the movie was soooo good!
Totally saw MJ from a different perspective.
New respect for him. RIP.

Also...the movie theaters in Portland are so BA! There are like tables between the chairs that you can put your purses and popcorn and drinks on! And ALL the seats recline. And they are so comfortable! My bum wasn't soar once!

.

Music to my ears.

My new favorite song at the moment. Thank you to Korey for showing me lovely music all the time :)

Woke up at 9:00 to someone vacuuming our hallways...who vacuums [very loudly] that early in the morning on everyone's day off? Ridiculous.

Any who. I read like the wolf this morning. All of my sociology shiz. Im reading this book for that class called Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, and it is actually extremely interesting. Its about how all of those "rags to riches" stories are all just a load of crap and its all about depends on the things around people that make them successful, like their family and their birthplace. I dig it. Kind of eye opening.

Happy Veterans Day! Thank you for all of those that did fight and are currently fighting for our country.

Also, for those of you who dont know yet...my latest addiction is iced green tea with 5 splendas from starbucks. If you buy one, its only 50 cents to refill it. Hallelujah. Its the fruit of the gods

.

Today I will be productive. Today I will be productive. Today I will be productive.

New Things

Well, I am trying this whole blogging thing out because I love reading other people's blogs, so I figured I'd make one of my own. I dont really know what I hope to do with this blog. You should know that I dont know about a lot of things. I do not plan ahead, and some people may find that a fault, but I like to think of it as one of my finer qualities. I go with the flow.

Im at Portland State University. And so far I like it for the most part. I adore my new friends. I love my classes. I enjoy the dorm life. The city is nice with lots to do. That parties are poppin. The food is yummy.

And although the sun doesnt shine as much as it does in good old socal, I feel that I can find it in my heart to love and appreciate the rain.